"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will" Romans 1:2
So God will transform and renew our thinking, our mind, and make our character into His perfect will using our partner.
The love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and goodness will still characterize our life in any circumstances because we bear the fruits of the Holy Spirit.This means to crucify the sinful nature with its passions and desires because we leave by the Spirit. This occurs when your need is not met by your spouse, yet, you still have the Holy Spirit in you who will give you enough and increased joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control so that you can successfully overcome your own resentful nature .
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:22-24
"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry." Colossians 3:5
We all know these things so well but when we have a problem or feeling betrayed we so many times act within the sinful nature. Why is that? It is a matter of maturity but also the apostle says the following: "For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:22-25.
We are not used to give more than to receive. A good thought is to not expect from your spouse something that only God can give and fulfill. Do you think that if you get married you will not be alone anymore or you will be happy because the other will make you happy? I must say that this will not be quite so.
Why so and what’s the solution?
It is not correct to blame our partner for we do not have all his/her attention and we are not happy with that, The Lord is the Lord in our marriage too. The fruits of the Holy Spirit should therefore be in your heart and your partner’s heart as well. When we marry we do not say: "Dear God I am getting married; but now my spouse will take Your place (as You used to have) the first place in my life." No, God still has to remain your main focus and your husband’s/wife’s as well because the true happiness you will still find only in Him. No man on Earth and no woman on earth can carry the burdens God can carry! And that includes all those places of your heart so deep that only God can reach and fulfill, like self-esteem, self worth. No one but God can "prop you up" properly; of course now it is normal to expect encouragement from your husband/wife, yet don't develop a dependence on it! People fail many times to carry their own burdens and often find it difficult to always prop up their partner. Some talk about the concept of "distance" or "space", we all need our space and it is true.
I have recently spoken to a "just married" couple (1 month old) and she was so irritated because her expectations were not met. He had not been at home for a day. You may say it is normal to feel so, but firs lets see her story was: "Hey you didn’t even call or send a message before you went to bed!" His story was: "I called you several times and when you answered, you asked me to call you later, as you were over to a friend and you couldn’t speak to me that moment."
Both of them were right it was late and he was tired, but small things like that can bring a big flame if not taken care of! As the Bible warns us: "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom." Song of Solomon 2:15 These "little foxes" apparently insignificant, can bring a lot of distress, that's why a solid character and plenty of wisdom are necessary in a successful relationship.
Are you having hard times expecting from the one you love here on earth, something that only God can give you? If it so, you need to be aware that no human will ever fulfill your "deepest of the deep" desires. You also need to know that if your main love spring is not God…well…men or women will sooner or later disappoint you, yes, including your spouse. However our sinful nature – flash must die, we need to focus on what God wants us to be for our spouse.
Although competition ruins marriages, the only competition allowed (in the good sense) is "Who makes the other happier?"
My partner is the tool in God’s workshop to make me a co-heir with Christ a heir of the Kingdom of Heaven. One day God will ask me: "How have you treated your spouse?" Have I treated him/her right making him/her become a prince/ princes or do I make him/her feel worthless?
I will close with the words of the wise king Solomon: "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12
Let the Lord be Lord in your marriage!
So God will transform and renew our thinking, our mind, and make our character into His perfect will using our partner.
The love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and goodness will still characterize our life in any circumstances because we bear the fruits of the Holy Spirit.This means to crucify the sinful nature with its passions and desires because we leave by the Spirit. This occurs when your need is not met by your spouse, yet, you still have the Holy Spirit in you who will give you enough and increased joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control so that you can successfully overcome your own resentful nature .
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:22-24
"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry." Colossians 3:5
We all know these things so well but when we have a problem or feeling betrayed we so many times act within the sinful nature. Why is that? It is a matter of maturity but also the apostle says the following: "For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:22-25.
We are not used to give more than to receive. A good thought is to not expect from your spouse something that only God can give and fulfill. Do you think that if you get married you will not be alone anymore or you will be happy because the other will make you happy? I must say that this will not be quite so.
Why so and what’s the solution?
It is not correct to blame our partner for we do not have all his/her attention and we are not happy with that, The Lord is the Lord in our marriage too. The fruits of the Holy Spirit should therefore be in your heart and your partner’s heart as well. When we marry we do not say: "Dear God I am getting married; but now my spouse will take Your place (as You used to have) the first place in my life." No, God still has to remain your main focus and your husband’s/wife’s as well because the true happiness you will still find only in Him. No man on Earth and no woman on earth can carry the burdens God can carry! And that includes all those places of your heart so deep that only God can reach and fulfill, like self-esteem, self worth. No one but God can "prop you up" properly; of course now it is normal to expect encouragement from your husband/wife, yet don't develop a dependence on it! People fail many times to carry their own burdens and often find it difficult to always prop up their partner. Some talk about the concept of "distance" or "space", we all need our space and it is true.
I have recently spoken to a "just married" couple (1 month old) and she was so irritated because her expectations were not met. He had not been at home for a day. You may say it is normal to feel so, but firs lets see her story was: "Hey you didn’t even call or send a message before you went to bed!" His story was: "I called you several times and when you answered, you asked me to call you later, as you were over to a friend and you couldn’t speak to me that moment."
Both of them were right it was late and he was tired, but small things like that can bring a big flame if not taken care of! As the Bible warns us: "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom." Song of Solomon 2:15 These "little foxes" apparently insignificant, can bring a lot of distress, that's why a solid character and plenty of wisdom are necessary in a successful relationship.
Are you having hard times expecting from the one you love here on earth, something that only God can give you? If it so, you need to be aware that no human will ever fulfill your "deepest of the deep" desires. You also need to know that if your main love spring is not God…well…men or women will sooner or later disappoint you, yes, including your spouse. However our sinful nature – flash must die, we need to focus on what God wants us to be for our spouse.
Although competition ruins marriages, the only competition allowed (in the good sense) is "Who makes the other happier?"
My partner is the tool in God’s workshop to make me a co-heir with Christ a heir of the Kingdom of Heaven. One day God will ask me: "How have you treated your spouse?" Have I treated him/her right making him/her become a prince/ princes or do I make him/her feel worthless?
I will close with the words of the wise king Solomon: "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12
Let the Lord be Lord in your marriage!
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