Feelings are sinuous, they go up and down and we cannot guide ourselves in such an important decision as marriage based on feelings alone. Not that there is such a thing as a certain formula to test yourself with and know that this indeed is the love of your life and you should marry him/her, but God has His way of showing His people the answer to this question. If you want to know the will of God regarding this, you will know it!
1. Is your fiancee a born again Christian? You need to be aware that just because somebody goes to the Church ( regardless of the position he/she might be in ) doesn’t mean that they take God seriously! Just as much as going to the seaside for a swim doesn’t make you a fish! But if you really have God inside and you are a born again Christian, then you’ll know how to differentiate between the fake and the real deal. Don’t lie to yourself about the other person dreaming that you’ll change him/her! What you see is what you get! Only God can transform a person, I can assure you, human attempts are doomed to fail…unfortunately this is pretty painful to experience for yourself!
2. Are you proud of your future partner? Are you delighted to introduce her to your family and friends or are you embarrassed by the way he/she looks, dresses, behaves or speaks? Not that the one you marry should be some super model or the smartest on earth, I am not saying that, but is he/she in your heart the person that satisfies you from this point of view? If it is not…think twice! On the long run there are enough obstacles already, you don’t need to knowingly bring extra along the way!
3. Do you consider her/him inferior to you or do you feel inferior to her/him? For instance if there are big differences between the two of you in finances or studies, age, make sure you know where you stand because in time, things that bother you now, will grow in seriousness bothering you even more. I have seen and heard about families where due to the lack of studies, the husband was in a constant battle to "teach his wife a lesson" for she had a college degree. He felt inferior because he did not have it and that marriage turned into a living hell for the poor woman, none of us want to end up in such a place.This may as well not occur if your partner is a real christian but, make sure you know what you might have to face.
4. How long have you known each other? I have a neighbor and she is this sweet lady, very friendly and sociable, now divorced, and living with her daughter. I asked if there was something to give her a hint and ring an alarm bell before she married this man (the man had proved to be a ladies man). She said that there was nothing but she also admitted that they only dated 3 months before they got married. Indeed, the shorter the time you know the other, the bigger the odds to find unpleasant surprises later…when it is too late. In other words, take your time, know the person, but more importantly, know God because He will lead your steps.
5. What do your friends and family say about your relationship? You know, feelings can blind people, causing them to keep a shut eye on important matters that’s why, people from the outside can have a more realistic view and although you are the one who’ll make the final decision, their glimpse might be an eye opener for you too…one that you’ll be very grateful for later… The Bible tells us to listen to the advice of our parents - in the Lord that is - what are your parents saying about your relationship? If they do not agree with you, honestly weight their motivations, see if they are grounded or not. Take time and check because as the good old proverb says:"Better safe than sorry!"
6. Most importantly, if you are a real child of God, then God will guide you by the peace in your heart. Do you feel peace when you think about marrying this guy/girl or do you feel more peace when you think that you’ll not marry her? This is a very important indicator because God will give you peace when choosing right. If you don’t have peace, pray, ask God to guide you, be aware of the spiritual battle around and it also might be Satan to try to steal your calm and tranquility. Take your time, don’t do things in a rush, because God will answer and He will surely reward those who seek Him!
1. Is your fiancee a born again Christian? You need to be aware that just because somebody goes to the Church ( regardless of the position he/she might be in ) doesn’t mean that they take God seriously! Just as much as going to the seaside for a swim doesn’t make you a fish! But if you really have God inside and you are a born again Christian, then you’ll know how to differentiate between the fake and the real deal. Don’t lie to yourself about the other person dreaming that you’ll change him/her! What you see is what you get! Only God can transform a person, I can assure you, human attempts are doomed to fail…unfortunately this is pretty painful to experience for yourself!
2. Are you proud of your future partner? Are you delighted to introduce her to your family and friends or are you embarrassed by the way he/she looks, dresses, behaves or speaks? Not that the one you marry should be some super model or the smartest on earth, I am not saying that, but is he/she in your heart the person that satisfies you from this point of view? If it is not…think twice! On the long run there are enough obstacles already, you don’t need to knowingly bring extra along the way!
3. Do you consider her/him inferior to you or do you feel inferior to her/him? For instance if there are big differences between the two of you in finances or studies, age, make sure you know where you stand because in time, things that bother you now, will grow in seriousness bothering you even more. I have seen and heard about families where due to the lack of studies, the husband was in a constant battle to "teach his wife a lesson" for she had a college degree. He felt inferior because he did not have it and that marriage turned into a living hell for the poor woman, none of us want to end up in such a place.This may as well not occur if your partner is a real christian but, make sure you know what you might have to face.
4. How long have you known each other? I have a neighbor and she is this sweet lady, very friendly and sociable, now divorced, and living with her daughter. I asked if there was something to give her a hint and ring an alarm bell before she married this man (the man had proved to be a ladies man). She said that there was nothing but she also admitted that they only dated 3 months before they got married. Indeed, the shorter the time you know the other, the bigger the odds to find unpleasant surprises later…when it is too late. In other words, take your time, know the person, but more importantly, know God because He will lead your steps.
5. What do your friends and family say about your relationship? You know, feelings can blind people, causing them to keep a shut eye on important matters that’s why, people from the outside can have a more realistic view and although you are the one who’ll make the final decision, their glimpse might be an eye opener for you too…one that you’ll be very grateful for later… The Bible tells us to listen to the advice of our parents - in the Lord that is - what are your parents saying about your relationship? If they do not agree with you, honestly weight their motivations, see if they are grounded or not. Take time and check because as the good old proverb says:"Better safe than sorry!"
6. Most importantly, if you are a real child of God, then God will guide you by the peace in your heart. Do you feel peace when you think about marrying this guy/girl or do you feel more peace when you think that you’ll not marry her? This is a very important indicator because God will give you peace when choosing right. If you don’t have peace, pray, ask God to guide you, be aware of the spiritual battle around and it also might be Satan to try to steal your calm and tranquility. Take your time, don’t do things in a rush, because God will answer and He will surely reward those who seek Him!
No comments:
Post a Comment